


The Twelve Fraggin' Days of Christmas

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Young Justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-20
Updated: 2006-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 07:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1639925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Czarnians clearly had strange ideas about love poems. Or maybe it was just Lobo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Twelve Fraggin' Days of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost ashamed to admit that I had a ridiculous amount of fun writing Lobo's horrible haiku. Almost. I don't know if Young Justice ever celebrated Christmas with Lobo on the team, so this takes place in some nearly indistinguishable alternate universe in which they did.
> 
> Written for Laylah

 

 

Young Justice did Christmas in style. Of course, it was their own quirky style, so their parents and mentors sat back and tried not to show their alarm. It went surprisingly well, for an event involving the whole team.

Anita received one gift without the giver's name on it, a necklace made of glass beads in colors that matched her costume. She'd thought it was a joke, at first, because it had been inside of a box which was inside of a box which was inside of another box. A poem had been scrawled on the card in a barely legible print.

I can't wait to see  
How beautiful it will be  
When you wear these beads.

 

She guessed it was kind of cute, but it left her in mind of Dr. Seuss for some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on. But the necklace was pretty, so she wore it. She knew it had to have been Lobo--who else?--but it couldn't do any harm. Could it?

On December 26th, Anita's father found a box addressed to her on the front steps of their house. It was just like the Christmas present, with one box inside of another like those little Russian dolls. The bracelet inside the smallest box perfectly matched the necklace. The haiku was a match, too. The sentiment was there, but it needed work. A lot of work.

If I were a tree,  
I'd want to be the tree  
That shades you at noon.

 

You had to give Lobo credit for trying. Not a lot of credit, mind you, but some. At least he was trying.

December 27th arrived and brought another box and another haiku with it. This time, it was a toy dolphin and the haiku was just plain weird. Not just "He can't write poems for beans" weird, but "Has this been translated from another language by someone really inept?" weird. Well, he was an alien. Maybe he did have to translate from whatever his first language was. Maybe the poems really did make more sense in that other language. Or maybe Lobo was a naturally bad poet. Either way, the toy dolphin was cuddly.

Nothing can compare.  
Only dolphins at play can  
Approach your beauty.

 

The box they found on the 28th of December was considerably sturdier than the others. It contained a little silver mirror with dolphins, a mermaid, and her name engraved on the back.

Beauty's in the eye  
Of the beholder, and I  
Behold only you.

 

That was kind of sweet, if a little awkward. Maybe haiku from Lobo wasn't so bad after all.

The next poem proved her wrong. The gift was sweet--a purple blouse with tiny flowers embroidered around the neck--but she threw the card away before her dad could see it and freak out. Czarnians clearly had strange ideas about love poems. Or maybe it was just Lobo.

I'd rip out a lung,  
Just to be near you right now.  
Guess I'll have to wait.

 

By the sixth day, they'd grown accustomed to the pattern. Her dad still didn't like it, but Uncle Ish thought it was cute. If only he knew. Her brand new pearl ring--it was a real pearl, she'd checked--was accompanied by the requisite haiku. It was tamer, but she was still regarding Lobo as half freaky stalker and half hopeless romantic. Like the bastard love-child of Freddy Krueger and Casanova.

You are perfection.  
Nirvana is the sound of  
Your happy laughter.

 

On New Year's Eve, they were so busy they almost overlooked the box. It was smaller than all of the others, and there was only the one box. Maybe Lobo had gotten tired of triple-boxing everything. The earrings inside matched the pearl ring from the day before. The poem wasn't any better than the last, but Anita thought she might have been warming to them. It was the thought that counted, right?

Every time you smile,  
It warms my heart to see it,  
Because you are you.

 

The eighth present was left in her room at Young Justice Headquarters. Her new comb was silver and matched the dolphins-and-mermaid mirror she'd already received. The accompanying haiku was enough for Anita to track Robin down and ask if Lobo had seemed down lately. Robin hadn't been able to answer, because Lobo and Bart had knocked over a couple of trees in their attempt to find out if Lobo's motorcycle could match Bart's top speed. She decided that Lobo was probably fine, even if the haiku sounded a little low. Maybe he was still adjusting to teenage hormones.

Karmic lottery:  
I won it the day we met.  
I don't deserve it.

 

The ninth day of Christmas found yet another box and haiku set. The box was no bigger than the palm of her hand and held a keychain shaped like a dolphin. Of course. The haiku nearly sent her into a panic. She'd only calmed down when she'd found Lobo happily running Superboy's little remote controlled car off their makeshift road atop the kitchen table. He wasn't up to any serious trouble yet.

I would write your name,  
In letter fifty feet high,  
For your affection.

 

On January 3rd, her Uncle Ishido came by early and found the box. He'd read the haiku and teased her until she was tempted to make him shut up. But she'd just smiled, and used the breathing exercises that Robin had taught any of them who'd cared to listen. She'd have to thank him for that later.

The coffee mug repeated the dolphins and mermaids motif, with tiny fish in her signature colors and little fake pearls glued on for good measure. Only the exquisite attention paid to the little painted details saved it from being tacky. The haiku was so soppy she'd almost suspect Lobo of getting one of the other girls to help write them. If she was a paranoid sort of person, that is.

It is amazing,  
How very much I miss you  
When you are not here.

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Anita still didn't have a true love. But she did have another present from Lobo, still unsigned. The little mermaid figurine was pretty and, unlike most of the mermaids Anita had seen in her life, she wasn't a little white girl. That earned the figurine a prominent spot on Anita's dresser, while she wondered if there were black people in Atlantis. She'd have to ask Robin. He'd know. Or he'd know someone who would know. Maybe even Aquaman. Robin had connections in the superhero community.

Anita didn't have connections, but she did have a pretty mermaid and a haiku that made her go "aw," even if it was still a little creepy. Preparing herself to read these things was like getting ready to read a Hallmark card written by a psycho. Today's wasn't so bad, though.

I don't believe in  
Soul mates, but I still like you.  
I hope that's enough.

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, January 6th, Anita got up early, but the box was already waiting for her. The little emperor's stick nestled inside the box was a perfect, miniature replica of her own, thankfully much larger, sword baton. It was probably a sign of how weird her life was that she considered this one of the sweetest of the gifts. The haiku was, actually, an improvement over the others, if only because Lobo had signed it.

Can we still date if  
We're not in love? Would that be  
Okay with your dad?

 

He'd left her a telephone number, too. Anita tried not to think about how or why Lobo had gotten a phone. She suspected knowing wouldn't have been good for her blood pressure. She called anyway.

"Hello?" He really did have a gravelly voice.

"Hey, Lobo. You really want another date?"

And then he stuttered and stammered for a few moments--boys were so funny, even if they were magically and/or technologically de-aged, violent alien boys--before he finally managed to say, "Yes."

"Okay, then. But only we have pizza and a movie at my place. Probably with my dad, if he's here tonight. Is eight okay?"

He stammered some more. "Sure. Eight is fine. What kind of movie did you have in mind?"

"I don't know yet. Something with lots of explosions, I think."

"No anchovies on the pizza?"

"Never. See you at eight?"

"Okay. At eight." He made more stammer-stuttery boy-noises. "Bye, 'Nita."

"Bye, Lobo."

Anita decided she'd definitely have to wear some of her new jewelry that night. And maybe the shirt. It would only be fair.

 


End file.
